Stillbirth

A stillbirth is when a baby dies after the 24th week of a pregnancy or during birth. It's a devastating experience for parents, and it can affect you and your family in ways you don't expect.

Your emotions will probably be in turmoil after a stillbirth. You might feel angry, guilty, sad and lonely, but love and pride too. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

If you already have children, think about how they might be feeling too and what support they'll need.

This is a very difficult time for you and everyone close to you, so it matters that you support each other and ask for help if you need it.

Stillbirth, or the death of a newborn baby, can happen for many reasons, and doctors still don't know all the causes. Some are linked to problems with the placenta or the mother's health. Others are linked to the baby's health or development, but in some cases the reason can't be explained.

There are many reasons a stillbirth can happen, but you can lower the risk by keeping up a healthy lifestyle before and during pregnancy.

If your baby dies before birth, which is called stillbirth, labour is usually induced. Going through labour and giving birth is the safest option for most women, even though it can be very distressing.

It's natural to want to know why this happened. You may not always find out why your baby died, and that can be hard to come to terms with.

Your midwife and obstetrician will support you through it. They will tell you what to expect and give you whatever help you need.

Your midwife or doctor will ask if you'd like to see or hold your baby. You might want to involve other members of your family too.

If you're worried about what your baby looks like, your midwife or doctor can describe them to you, which may help you decide. Many parents find it comforting to see, touch and hold their baby. If you want to, you can bath and dress them.

Your midwife can talk to you about a Cuddle Cot. This is a special cooling mattress inside a cot, and it can let you spend more time with your baby in the hospital or at home.

That gives you more time to say goodbye, with the support of family and friends.

If the hospital doesn't have a Cuddle Cot, other organisations can arrange one for bereaved parents. Ask your midwife.

Everyone reacts differently when a baby is lost, and stillbirth is no exception. Your emotions might feel overwhelming, and your body may feel drained too.

Give yourself time to rest and look after yourself. And please know that you are not alone, and that you have done nothing wrong.

If your baby was lost after 13 weeks, you'll be offered a post-mortem (also called an autopsy) after a stillbirth. It's a medical investigation that tries to understand what happened, and to find out if there are issues that could affect a future pregnancy.

Deciding whether to have a post-mortem can be hard. You'll be given support and time to think it over. If you have questions or worries, ask the person who talks you through the post-mortem.

After a stillbirth, you will need care from your midwife and doctor to make sure your body is recovering. Your midwife will guide you through the decisions you have to make and help you find the right support.

You don't have to manage alone. It can sometimes help to talk with others who have been through baby loss. You, your baby's father or your partner, and your family are likely to need time to grieve.

Some parents find it helps to do something to remember their baby after a stillbirth, such as:

• creating a space in their garden
• saying a prayer
• writing a poem

Others keep photographs, handprints or footprints, or locks of their baby's hair in a memory box. Whatever stage of pregnancy your loss happens at, you can make a memory box, and your midwife can tell you more about this. Some hospitals give special boxes to parents just for this.

Some parents don't want to do any of these things, and that's okay too. There's no right or wrong way.

Don't include personal information such as your name, location or any personal health conditions.